Just wanted to check on you
Your care has encompassed me
Your love is playing drum rolls
Your strength has me in awe
Yet, your fears seem so raw.
The demons are insight
Years have passed by
Troubling thoughts accompanying your nights
The familiar face, the familiar smile,
The familiar words, the familiar hands
But something had changed in his touch
It was different, or shall I say eerie.
I can feel you Mom
I can see through your confusion
The love oozing out of him was same
But, the rhythm of his hands were somehow lame.
You are panicking, your heart is sinking,
It is bad… Whatever is happening is bad!
Bile is rising in your throat,
You feel a gentle yet pleading kick in your belly
Run, Mom, run!
Escape the devil.
And you sprinted for your life
As far as you could
I can hear grandma’s faint voice
You are close- close to safety.
She is happy despite being crushed by your hug
But she is unaware of the fate you witnessed
Something which has scarred you for life.
You want to spill the beans
You want to be safeguarded
You want him to be punished
But there he stands in the threshold
His eyes challenge you to say the truth
Coz he knows it would be considered nothing
but a myth!
He vanished out of sight
Leaving you in this miserable plight
You carry the baggage for years
With desperate tries to get rid of it
You lied again and again
To save yourself from the familiar pain
You were misunderstood
You were rebuked
And you were taught family morals.
You DID find it ironical
And wished your surroundings were more logical
Then things would be different.
Your growing years would have been free-
Free of darkness, mistrust and vulnerability.
I know you wanted to fight society
Fight the fear, fight the fake
But you failed, for granny’s sake.
It should be known to you,
You DID fight, in your own way
Penning down everything you ever wanted to say.
Sorry, I am mom
For taking a peek at your life
I, I was scared
Your nightmares jolted me.
I breathed my last
So as not to serve myself in the devil’s platter
But now, I see you
I see you fighting yet again
I see you crying muffled cries
I see you pushing me out tirelessly
And I want to see more of you
Hear more of you
Feel more of you
And love YOU more than you.
Finally I am ready Mom
To face the world with you!