We are always attracted to the people who are similar to us. Though the saying goes that “Opposites attract”, in reality it often happens that we are attracted to similar people.
Similar people as in to people who have something in similar to us. May be caste, religion, sex, occupation, country or may be similar nature.
A Psychological study shows that , people claiming to be open to embracing the diversity actually made opposite choices. They said “they wanted to make as diverse friends as they can ” but ended up making similar friends . Marketers chose to interact with marketers and advocates chose to make advocate as their new friend.
We have friends from the age we are born. The neighbor , the school, the college and the office contributes a lot to our friend circle.
Do you realize the similarity in all these? But not all friends keep our interest intact. It is because our brain find some links in them , which we assume to be in sync with us.
Most people often get chance to sense diversity when they move out from their home. They travel to different city, country for either their education or for business trips. That’s when we seem to get out of the box and experience something entirely different.
This is exactly what happened with me when I got a chance to live in some other part of the world. And this world was totally different than India , where I resided for 28 yrs, with my same friends, same culture, same society and same religion.
I got a chance to visit Netherlands for my office work and this county has largely changed my perception about being open to diversity. Holland is a country of bold and independent people. They have to be more responsible when it comes to making decisions in their life because the culture does not permit parents to spoon feed their children. They have to earn to study and earn to live. This makes them more mature and responsible towards what they are doing in their life.
So I made this truly new dutch friend, working with my colleague and it has been amazing knowing him and his thoughts.
I realized that though we were from a different background, we had same values at heart, of sincerity, of respect and good virtues. I used to feel that I would not be comfortable but having a friend , different friend by all means made me feel more good and confidence when I talk with him and more importantly in English !!(As my English is not so good compared to other people haha…).
Don’t make friends based on looks, caste, race, religion. Rather make friends who can give you a better picture of all these parameters you set. It feels wonderful for me now when I look back, to how close we have grown. We laugh together, we share our milestones, our achievements . I am totally having the same tuning of friendship with him as we always have with our Indian friend.
Ofcourse this cannot happen without his efforts, to know me and vice-versa.
I feel, this happens with our life when we come cross different issues. We don’t understand what to do but how we put the effort decides our fate. So that’s what we chose to put.
I’m lucky to have a friend and share a different diversity, becoming truly “open Minded” and would love to continue in future.
I am sure you too will have a similar story for your diverse friend. If yes, then feel free to share. !!